


All I Can Say Is...

by Doy0ung



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Character Death, Clair de Lune, M/M, Major Illness, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000, over years
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-05-06 04:41:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14634345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doy0ung/pseuds/Doy0ung
Summary: It all started with a boy playing piano. Then it became love, what happens afterwards?(warning: major character death)hey listen to this while reading ( if you're on mobile I guess you could use soundcloud or something!): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ea2WoUtbzuwThat song is what inspired this so I suggest you listen to it!





	All I Can Say Is...

The piano played a familiar melody,

one that he had heard so many times before.

Maybe it was by fate,

maybe it was by coincidence.

He walked in one the most beautiful boy playing piano that day.

The boy in a state of beautiful concentration,

his eyes trained and focused on gracefully pressing his fingers to the keys.

Maybe it was by chance,

maybe it was by choice.

All I can say is,

the boy who walked in was mesmerized.

It was a perfect serenade,

the perfect sonata.

He looked around the room in awe,

this was the start of a new beginning.

The start of a new kind of serenade.

The only thing Johnny could think about,

was making that sonata with him.

Making his solo a duet.

\---

Everything was perfect,

more or less.

As their love grew stronger,

so did the melody.

It was the little things,

the wonder in his eyes,

the pecks on the cheeks,

the nights spent cuddling.

It was all a sort of new commodity.

All I can say is...

I don't know if it was meant to last.

\---

The wedding was magical,

both of them felt like they were on cloud nine.

The danced the night away,

laughing,

enjoying,

loving.

People hated them,

they could feel the eyes burning through them in the crowd,

but they were too happy to even think about it.

All I can say is...

things were never the same.

\---

"What's wrong Papa?"

Mark inquired,

looking at his dad.

Johnny couldn't bear to tell him,

the truth was too heavy for even him to handle.

The melody overtook him,

washing a sense of calm over him.

"Mr. Seo. You may talk to him now."

He looked so fragile in the bed,

he looked as though he was fading.

His fingers made a pattern in front of him,

the same melody he played all those years ago.

"Ten... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry."

He cried,

holding his husband as close as he could,

never wanting to let go.

Ten didn't want to go,

he could feel the tears rolling down his cheeks.

The melody played over and over again,

like a broken record.

The one that would only play the happy time.

It was too late,

too far gone.

The cancer had taken over,

it was relentless.

Never giving a moments rest,

there were some days where ten felt like he wanted to give in,

that he just felt worthless.

He felt like it would be better if he just went away.

The pain was almost unbearable now,

It was the type of sharp intense pain,

that made Ten quiver and shake.

It wasn't physical pain,

it was the pain of leaving Johnny.

It was the pain of leaving Mark.

It was the pain of leaving the people he loved so dearly,

it was the pain of leaving the memories behind.

It was the pain of all of it coming to an end,

so quickly.

It was the pain of how he would forget Johnny's hair,

his lips,

his touch,

his words,

the way that he made Ten go crazy.

The way that he always found new ways to surprise and excite.

The way that he loved Ten.

It was never perfect,

but boy was it close.

The sonata was coming to an end now,

the kind that makes you cry.

Ten could feel the walls closing in on him,

just waiting to crush him.

He looked into Johnny's eyes,

pushing a lock of his hair behind his ears.

He started to sob,

Wishing that cancer had never happened.

Wishing that Johnny would love him forever.

Wishing that this would all go away and that Johnny could take him home,

loving him unconditionally.

But no one ever really gets a happy ending,

do they?

Ten leaned into Johnny's ear,

whispering something through his sobs.

"All I can say is...

I love you."

\---

Johnny stood in front of a gravestone,

looking at it with teary eyes.

He wished he could go back,

just go back.

Be soaked into the good memories,

to remember Ten in the way he wanted to be remembered.

Mark looked at his father,

confused.

"Where's Daddy, Papa?"

Mark questioned,

Johnny turning to him.

"He went to a place that he loves.

A place where he isn't hurting anymore.

Now he can play piano in peace."

Johnny patted his son on the shoulder,

smiling as best he could.

"When is he coming back?"

" Not for a while,

he told you to be an extra good boy for Papa when he's gone,

okay?"

"Okay, Papa!

I'm gonna be the best good boy ever!"

Mark exclaimed.

Johnny turned back to the gravestone.

' Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul

A loving husband and an amazing father.

May he forever rest in peace'

" I miss you Ten.

I wish you would just come back.

I wish I didn't have to face life without you,

I miss you...

more than words can describe.

I hope to see you one day,

I hope we can dance in the moonlight in heaven.

I hope that when I make it up there,

you'll be waiting for me.

Greeting me with that effervescent smile of yours."

Johnny laid down the flowers with care,

hoping his love would hear his message.

"Mark misses you too,

He keeps asking for you,

I told him you went to a place where you can play piano in peace.

I know he'll find out the truth sooner or later,

but I'd rather it be late than sooner."

Johnny smiled,

for once.

" I know you hated the hospital,

but everyone chipped in these flowers,

I hope you like them.

I know roses were always your favorite.

I hated the hospital too,

I couldn't walk into your room afterward,

it was just too painful.

I know I shouldn't dwell on the past and I should move towards the future,

but how can I without you by my side?

How can I think about making new memories when you're not here to share them with me?

How can I think about the future when mine got completely rewritten,

without me even knowing until the very last second?

I can't listen to my favorite piano piece,

it just doesn't sound as good as when you would play it.

The tune sounds odd and cold,

not warm and loving the way I used to know it.

Play it for me when I get there okay,

play me Clair De Lune the way you do.

I never regret a moment I spent with you.

the only thing I regret is not knowing you for longer.

For being too shy,

for not going up and asking you out.

Because you did that instead."

The tears that had collected in his eyes started to roll down his cheeks,

making him frantically wipe them away.

"All I can say is...

I love you."

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I cried writing this not gonna lie, I hope you enjoyed it though!  
> insta: sapphire_ee_  
> wattpad: thatpandagirlOwO (not fanfics sorry)  
> Thank you for reading! (this is my first completed work lol)


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